Pouring it Out

The thoughts of a lover.


Reblogged from kfchesko

Heart Abandoned

This is a journal entry from August 10, 2010 that I recently reread. 

"The more you trust in Me, the less you’ll fear man."-God

'I just read about how Mary poured $35,000 worth of perfume over Jesus and anointed His feet with her hair. I love this story. I could just imagine seeing this. Mary comes in, probably a bit nervous, but knowing exactly what she needs to do. A longing wells up in her that is greater than how it will come off to others. She NEEDED to do this. Her heart was exploding. Walking slowly but deliberately to Jesus, she holds the most elegant bottle of perfume. As she walks, she stares directly at Him with a gaze that melts His heart. She loves Him. She lifts the bottle above Jesus' head and breaks the bottle letting loose all the fragrant oil. The room is silent. All that you can hear is the mixture of oil and tears that drips from His head. Mary takes more of the perfume and anoints Jesus' feet. She uses her hair, which is the very glory of her to serve her King. The fragrance of the oil is so potent that everything smells like it. Between Jesus and Mary, love and honor is exchanged. I don't imagine this to be a very graceful thing. Pouring out your heart and soul never appears to be as theatrical as it sounds. I imagine everyone around them felt extremely  uncomfortable. Yet, I do think there was a small level of understanding that the disciples had. They knew it was an act of worship. But they didn't think it was the right act of worship. I'm beginning to see that even others that follow Jesus and listen His words, won't always understand the worship of an abandoned heart. Mary was one of the first to give everything she had to Jesus. Because she spent the time to listen and understand Him as well as trust Him to be true. It may not have seemed to be the most graceful execution to others, but it was extremely beautiful to Jesus. And that was the only thing that mattered to Mary. THE ONLY AFFECTION SHE WANTED WAS HIS. The awesome thing is that the disciples seeing this and not understanding, soon act as abandoned as Mary when Holy Spirit falls on them and reveals the heart of Jesus in Acts 2. Soon they look just as crazy to the world as Mary looked to them. I WANT TO LOOK CRAZY.'

Drawn below this entry is this picture:



I love how God confirms His plans even months before I need it. :)

I’m a butterfly. You’re my cocoon. -The Ember Days

I’m a butterfly. You’re my cocoon. -The Ember Days

childlike always

  • Me: I bet you my kids will be cuter than Ellie's
  • Ellie: 20 bucks!
  • Me: We should marry twins
  • Me: Deal!
  • Ellie: I didn't agree to marrying twins... haha do you know any worth marrying?
  • Me: No, BUT GOD DOES!! HE PROBS made some just for us!
  • Ellie: haha I haven't heard from Him that that's the case.
  • Me: but you haven't heard from Him that that's not the case either ;)
  • Ellie: haha true...
Reblogged from ibetheltv
  • Randy Clark: Hey Rolland tell us what it feels like to be "happy to be alive."
  • Rolland Baker: Happy to be alive, it's being ok to be saved, just another day in eternity, totally forgiven clean conscious nothing to feel guilty about but doesn’t leave much to preach about.
Oversized shebears beat triheaded dragon

Oversized shebears beat triheaded dragon

"Shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?"

John 18:10-11 “Then Simon Peter, having a sword, drew it and struck the high priest’s servant and cut off his right ear. So Jesus said to Peter, ‘Put your sword into its sheath; shall I not drink the cup that the Father has given me?’”

That’s Jesus saying to Peter, ” Am I not supposed to follow and obey the plan and purpose of my Father, of whom I love with everything I am and have?” I could only try to imagine what Peter was feeling and thinking. His best friend is being innocently arrested. The one who He knew was the Christ, the hope of the Jews was being arrested. How could this happen? Why would it happen? Jesus was supposed to come up and become King of all Israel and redeem His people. But now He’s becoming prisoner, forfeiting His freedom and what seems like the salvation of the Jewish people.

He didn’t understand. So, he did something about it. But when Peter thought he was doing right thing, Jesus says, “Hey Peter don’t you understand God’s plan? It’s bigger than you know. Now put away your defenses and let them take me. This is why I’m here.” Jesus knew what Papa was doing and He obeyed. And think! Jesus did something bigger than everyone was expecting of Him!! Not only did He bring the Jews redemption but Jews and Gentiles can now enter into the fullness of God’s love!!! 

Many times in life the Father has a direction we must follow in accordance to His unique plan and purpose for us. In our lives, there are Peters that have the best intentions for us. They try to carve out a path for us or keep us on the same path we have been on even when God says something different. Just like Peter, they don’t do it maliciously, it’s just that they don’t understand what’s going on. (I don’t mean this in a condescending way at all. Many times I don’t understand the plans God has for other people).  Sometimes we ourselves can become like Peter and plan or be on the defense; planning our way and not letting Papa in. Whatever the case may be, Jesus says, “God’s plan is bigger than you know. Now put away your defenses, your plan Bs and let Him take you there. This is why you’re here.”

Come and know the goodness and love of the Father, just as Jesus has always known. He was and is and will always be so wrapped up in the love of the Father that He  is able to listen and see what Papa is doing and do it. He obeyed out of a pure heart of love. That’s how He was able to sacrifice His life for us. Now we have this same access to the Father’s love; to be so intertwined with Him that we obey radically and shake the world around us like Jesus.